Lying.

she is tired of this hair and this face and these thoughts. why can't she just laugh like they do? pin the hair back, pin the smile back and just laugh, just ha! falling ha! dying ha! shaking ha! spinning ha! ha! all and all of it. it's all over in a minute, dear, they say, so drink and laugh with me. but it is all there is, darling, and i can't feel it with drink, she thinks, and hopes that she is lying.